le mariage de chat et chaz

cast-change announcement

syncopated synopsis of synergistic synapses

i'm charles' sister and lyn's best woman. thank you all for coming today.

this match is a miracle.  lyn and charles have taken a long and often tortuous trail to reach each other. i think that destiny assigned them to each other long ago, when they were created, but they each needed to serve a long apprenticeship in life's lessons before they were ready to be together. they have both longed for this partnership all their lives, have both known the other was out there, somewhere.  and, finally, when they were ready, they were brought together.

let me tell you, teen-age romance angst is nothing compared to middle-aged romance angst. yearning, passion, fear, intensity -- all of it is just way more intense when you've got a lot of experience under your belt. when you falll in love when you're young, you feel confused because you don't know what you are getting into.  but at their age, you DO know what you are getting into.

they met through match.com, a web singles service,  with the anonymous names of pyewackit (charles)  and cougarcat (lyn).  pyewackit, of course, is the cat -- the witch's familiar -- in bell, book, and candle. need i say more?

on match.com, people meet by writing email to each other.  lyn was impressed by charles's email, because he could write a grammatical sentence.  charles, in turn, was impressed to find a woman who could twistulate her words as well as he could. it took only a few days for them to decide that a face-to-face meeting was in order.

lyn and charles  met for their first date in front of the woodside cafe, at  the exact time they had appointed. anyone who knows them knows that they are  both equally punctilious (obsessive?) about being on time and otherwise keeping their commitments -- just as they will keep ferociously this most powerful, most important commitment that they are making today.

because somehow he already knew that their first date would be a critical point in his life, charles had wanted to be absolutely certain that lyn could not miss him, so he had told her in advance that he would wear black and blue striped athletic shorts, bright yellow sleeveless dancer's shirt -- you know, the kind that shows a man's nipples? -- and a bright-lime green overshirt.  when he went to his closet that morning to get dressed, he realized, oh my lord, what have i done???

lyn had described herself to charles in email as follows: "i am five foot five and trim of form. i have long dark hair. i'm usually covered with cat hair.  but i do wash behind my ears."

when lyn first saw charles, she thought, incoherently but powerfully, "YES!"  charles, always more grounded, thought, "i could fall in love with this woman." i'm convinced that they sniffed each other, and after the first whiff, they didn't stand a chance.

that first date, scheduled to last 20 minutes, ended reluctantly after 9 hours, with two excited people holding hands, laughing, and saying "this is reeeeeeeeeeally scary!"

on their second date, lyn visited charles' house, which is VERY neat.  lyn's house has parakeets and crescent moons in the bedroom, 40 hats in the hallway, a fascinating collection of dust mice, and at that time ten feline inhabitants.  lyn was a little worried about what charles would think. but charles and lyn have, from the start, accepted and celebrated each other, enjoying their superficial differences while cleaving to each other because of the deep similarities in their souls.

like all new couples, they tested each other. for example, lyn took charles to a party, and promptly dumped him to fend for himself in a front room.  charles acquited himself gracefully and intelligently. after three or four  hours, lyn admitted that she knew him, and finally consented to stand in the same room as him.
 

their first full moon, lyn arrived unannounced and the moonstruck couple did some joyous rolling around on the lawn right back there [gestures].  well, that was a lot of fun... and when they came inside, they were slimed head to foot with tiny slugs! that they laughed hysterically is testament to the madness of lovers.

naturally, their relationship hasn't been without its tense moments. they navigated the chinese-noodle crisis, and the thermostat crisis, the definition-of-"slut" crisis, the "yes, honey" crisis, and the charles-is-hungry recurring crisis. and of course, most recently, we've had the groom crisis, swiftly followed by the bride crises.

lyn and charles have been hogs for cultural experiences --- dance, opera, theater, museums, monterey aquarium. there's something about culture that has a certain effect on them. for example, it took them 7 hours to view a hiroshige exhibit, especially after they discovered an empty theater off to the side of the exhibit hall. uhm yes. ahem.... where was i?

operas. you know, operas are all about grand passion, right? well, lyn's dresses have a habit of falling off at operas, and charles has spent many an intermission with his arm casually draped over lyn's shoulders, holding up her top. at a recent opera, the people sitting behind them asked whether charles and lyn were newlyweds, and said they were putting on a better show than the one on stage.

you may have been wondering why charles and lyn asked for netsuke for their wedding gifts, and you may have noticed that there are a few netsuke on your programs. have you looked at them carefully?  uh huh.  charles and lyn definitely do appreciate art.

in other spheres, charles has never been an outdoorsy kind of guy -- he generally prefers to get his exercise by leaping around a dance studio. lyn, in contrast,  has always been an avid hiker. so lyn has been slowly introducing charles to the joys of nature.  hikes that is, of course. and bridges -- they really like bridges.  and benches, particularly benches with a good view.

most important overall, charles and lyn always encourage each other to be fully themselves, and thus they transform each other -- as you can see by the fact that charles cut off all  lyn's hair. i can tell you that, without any doubt, they have both been clean out of their minds for the past 9 months, and they have been evolving rapidly to happier, more contented beings. most critical of all, they've been having tremendous fun with each other.  they have that glow, that radiance, of humans who have found their haven, their source, their wellspring.  their edges are coming off, like rocks in a tumbler, leaving them not only smooth and round, but also better able to fit up close to each other. they are getting mellower every day.  they are HAPPY.  and they are madly, passionately, miraculously in love.  it's a rare rare stroke of both destiny and luck for two people to find such a deep rapport, and we are here today to witness and share in their joy and their lifelong commitment to nurture and grow their connection -- their marriage.